My son has helped me to jump start my brain and habits as he is doing something that I constantly preach - pushing comfort zones. He is trying out tackle football. He is young, but this is something that he wanted to pursue.
Last night was his first night with pads. I was nervous for him, but excited. After a rough start to practice the team started to adjust. Practicing in full gear is a game changer. He came to me during water break and told me the coaches were pushing him too hard. I told him that they were not because he was still accomplishing everything.
I was so proud of him last night. He is a nervous and anxious ridden kid who does not always believe in himself. When practice ended he had a smile that could not be taken away. He knew he just grew as a person and did something he did not think he could do. As a parent I so proud of him for sticking in there and doing a great job.
I wanted him to know that he is a source of motivation. As you may have noticed on this blog I have not posted much about training and exercise like I have done in the past. The reason being is that I have not exercised in a long time. I had some health issues this summer, but after several brain tests and scans they were not able to find anything and have released me to slowly begin to get back into exercise. Additionally, I was burned out and lost my motivation. This might be the first time I have admitted that despite my wife telling me this for quite some time. (Yes, she is right again!)
I told Aiden that watching him challenge himself ignited a desire to do the same for myself. I told him that I need to exercise and take care of my health as well. Today I started back.
The last time I had done any form of exercise was June 18th when I ran 4 miles. I honestly have not done anything at all since then mostly because my body was shutting down and preventing me from walking my daughter around the block.
I also knew it was time when I had to order larger pants for this school year and can barely fit into them now with a few pairs way too snug for public. This left me angry and defeated. It is hard to adjust when I know that I was pushing 150 miles of training a week and feeling great. It is a hard mental block to overcome.
Last night I realized I was neglecting my health by not exercising and eating poorly. What good am I as a father and leader when I don't take care of myself. I was/am pouring myself so heavily into school, sharing my message of passion, and trying to be a good husband and father, that I used these as an excuse.
That is not acceptable.
After stepping on the scale and seeing a number I have never seen before left me scared. I had gained over 30 lbs from my racing weight.
It is time.
Life is about trying to keep things in perspective. You cannot balance it all because balance is a lie and cannot happen, but you must be able to get to the middle sometimes and realize you cannot live in the extremes all the time.
I also read that creating a habit takes the average person 66 days.
It has been 62 days since my last day of exercise. I would say the lifestyle of eating garbage and living in that endless cycle of unhealthiness was almost habit.
I end it today.
Motivated by my son I woke up this morning and ran. Or should I say shuffled my feet slowly for 3 miles. It was painfully slow taking me 33:30.
I cannot dwell in the past. I have to look forward. We have ups and downs. It has been an up in the sense that my son feels that he has inspired me and I love that. My children always inspire me, but I don't know that they always feel that. Today he did. He reminded me to drink water at school as he brought water to stay hydrated. It has been good.
My goal is make this habit. One day down and 65 days to go.
Who knows what crazy goal I will tackle once I get back to where I need to be. Right now it is putting one foot in front of the other.